Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner, it can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are married, living together or who are dating, it affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.

Types of abuse include:

  • Physical
  • Sexual
  • Emotional
  • Financial

Nationally, 1 in 4 women will be affected by domestic violence in their lifetime.

In the state of Texas, 1 in 3 women will be affected by domestic violence in their lifetime.

74% of all Texans have experienced some form of domestic violence or know of someone.

Bexar County has the HIGHEST rate of reported domestic violence per capita in Texas, and one of the HIGHEST in the nation.

Physical

  • Scratching, punching, biting, strangling or kicking.
  • Throwing something at you such as a phone, book, shoe or plate.
  • Pulling your hair.
  • Pushing or pulling you.
  • Grabbing your clothing.
  • Using a gun, knife, box cutter, bat, mace or other weapon.
  • Smacking your bottom without your permission or consent.
  • Forcing you to have sex or perform a sexual act.
  • Grabbing your face to make you look at them.
  • Grabbing you to prevent you from leaving or to force you to go somewhere

Sexual

  • Unwanted kissing or touching.
  • Unwanted rough or violent sexual activity.
  • Rape or attempted rape.
  • Refusing to use condoms or restricting someone’s access to birth control.
  • Keeping someone from protecting themselves from sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
  • Sexual contact with someone who is very drunk, drugged, unconscious or otherwise unable to give a clear and informed “yes” or “no.”
  • Threatening someone into unwanted sexual activity.
  • Pressuring or forcing someone to have sex or perform sexual acts.
  • Using sexual insults toward someone.

Emotional

  • Calling you names and putting you down.
  • Yelling and screaming at you.
  • Intentionally embarrassing you in public.
  • Preventing you from seeing or talking with friends and family.
  • Telling you what to do and wear.
  • Damaging your property when they’re angry (throwing objects, punching walls, kicking doors, etc.)
  • Using online communities or cell phones to control, intimidate or humiliate you.
  • Blaming your actions for their abusive or unhealthy behavior.
  • Accusing you of cheating and often being jealous of your outside relationships.
  • Stalking you.
  • Threatening to commit suicide to keep you from breaking up with them.
  • Threatening to harm you, your pet or people you care about.
  • Using gas-lighting techniques to confuse or manipulate you. ·
  • Making you feel guilty or immature when you don’t consent to sexual activity.
  • Threatening to expose your secrets such as your sexual orientation or immigration status.
  • Starting rumors about you.
  • Threatening to have your children taken away

Financial

  • Giving you an allowance and closely watching what you buy.
  • Placing your paycheck in their account and denying you access to it.
  • Keeping you from seeing shared bank accounts or records.
  • Forbidding you to work or limiting the hours you do.
  • Preventing you from going to work by taking your car or keys.
  • Getting you fired by harassing you, your employer or coworkers on the job.
  • Hiding or stealing your student financial aid check or outside financial support.
  • Using your social security number to obtain bad credit loans without your permission.
  • Using your child’s social security number to claim an income tax refund without your permission.
  • Maxing out your credit cards without your permission.
  • Refusing to give you money, food, rent, medicine or clothing.
  • Using funds from your children’s tuition or a joint savings account without your knowledge.
  • Spending money on themselves but not allowing you to do the same.
  • Giving you presents and/or paying for things like dinner and expecting you to somehow return the favor.
  • Using their money to hold power over you because they know you are not in the same financial situation as they are.